Start demanding success. When you are actively chasing what you want and getting what you need, you can find fulfilment and live the way you should.
All over the net I see people saying that striving for success is bad. I’m guessing, people automatically go to the million-dollar, fortune and fame, idea of success. And the online gurus are quick to point out that striving for money and outward signs of success are ‘bad’.
And I can see where they’re coming from.
When your daily grind becomes about striving for numbers and stat’s, it’s very easy to lose all the juice of inspiration.
The problem I have, is that the whole discussion misses the point.
We either focus on success -being successful; or we focus on failure – missing out and limiting our expectations; or we just accept what comes our way, and get a weird mix of good and bad.
My view is – if you focus on success you get success.
Start Demanding Success
For me, I spent many years with the fail mindset and I was not surprised I didn’t get anything.
How can you get a lot joy if you think life’s not fair and it’s meant to be hard for people like me?
How do you get love, when you think she or he is out of my league?
And so on.
So many people have this mindset.
But just as bad, most people just go along with whatever life gives them. And often they slip into negative and become so mindless to how their thoughts are shaping their lives.
Well, I put this into practice.
Two years ago, I decided success. I don’t want normal, or failure, I want to be successful.
And since I started – I started getting success. It’s not always amazing fireworks and brilliance, but I’m feeling my life is successful; I live in abundance, I have happiness, love and friendship; I have contribution and I’m overcoming my limitations and doing things I have always dreamed of.
If you want success – you have to go for it.
It doesn’t need to be about fortune and fame, but if that’s what you want, then why the hell not.
The point is, you approach life feeling like you will have what you want and what you need.
And that’s the point.
To be a success, is to get what you want and get what you need.
Why You Need to Start Demanding Success
When you get what you need, you become fulfilled and you can live happy. And when you get what you want, what you really want, you feel that joy of achievement.
The big lesson we need to teach is not the whole, don’t go for success, it is to teach what we need and how to know what we really want.
The problems of life come when people have unfulfilled needs or they chase unfulfilling wants.
What to want? And The needs you need? to start demanding Success
We’ll start with the needs:
Here I’m paraphrasing Tony Robbins, as I like his list of 6 needs the best – they are simple and easy to apply to life. But I’ll be putting them in my own words.
- We need security
- And we need to feel like we are making a contribution.
Success from security
Firstly, we need security. We need to understand the world around us and have certain trust that we can expect certain things. If we live in a situation where we don’t know if we will wake up the next day, or where the next meal is coming, or how mummy and daddy feel about us, and so on, then we can’t operate in the world. We have no frame of certainty and that leads to severe anxiety.
We need security and to know we are safe.
Conversely, we need variety. We need to have a certain amount of mystery, excitement, unknown in the world. If we knew how everything was going to be, day after day, then life would be mind-numbingly boring.
We need to mix it up with some variety, otherwise we go a bit stir crazy and get depressed.
Success through Significance
Everyone needs to feel some level of importance or significance. We all need to feel like our life has meaning, that we have a place, that in some way we are special.
We may get it from our job or family or hobby, but one way or another we need it. If we lack significance, we feel our life is completely pointless. That leads to angst, depression, and all those bad feelings.
We need to feel like we are important in some way.
We Need Connection
“No man is an island.”
We are social beings, and our collective development has only been possible because we form social bonds with others.
We, all of us, need to feel a connection and we need to feel the whole range of human connection: the handshake with colleagues, the hug from family, the kiss of a lover, or the meeting of minds we have within our community.
We need contact and if we don’t have it we fall to depression, isolation, anger and self-loathing.
At a Higher Level of Success
Need to Grow
We are progressive beings. We are born with absolutely endless capacity and potential. When we are chasing that potential and growing, we feel good. We feel alive and we feel fulfilled, or on our way to being fulfilled.
As Tony says, “If we’re not growing, we’re dying.”
This I believe is one of the big problems in the world today. People get to a certain stage and they feel like that’s it. But you should never stop growing, learning and striving to be more. Now I’ve started to get fitter, healthier, stronger, smarter, and I feel better about my whole life and I’ve stopped needing the escape of drinking and excessive eating. I no longer feel dread for Monday morning’s return to work.
I feel like I’m on my way to better, to a great and beautiful future.
We should all aim to feel like that.
Lastly, a Need to Give
We need to contribute. When we are giving and serving others, in what we know is a meaningful way, we feel truly rich and abundant. Our life has most purpose when we are helping others. All the wealth and toys of success will not give one ounce of the fulfilment of giving, helping or supporting a fellow human being.
When we have used our skills and talents and resources for the good of others we feel the pride and joy of contentment. And we don’t always know it, but this need to contribute is absolutely embedded in us.
What to want to start demanding Success
So, now we know what we really need, we have to ensure our wants fulfil those needs.
For example, we may feel like we want a Ferrari. And maybe we do, but why do we want it? If it’s just a sign of wealth that we have been programmed to see as something to want, then that’s a bad want. We will strive away and never feel any fulfilment. We will feel ripped-off because we don’t already have it, and when we do get it we’ll feel thrilled for a minute, then let-down because it didn’t give us the fulfilment we really need.
But if that Ferrari is the only way you can get significance in your life, then maybe that want will fulfil a true need. Then why not go for it.
The thing we need to teach is to want things for the right reason. Start demanding success by demanding what you need.
Want What You Need
No one really wants a pile of paper in their wallet or purse. And all the money in the world won’t make your food taste much better. I mean, if you grow up with hamburgers and beer, the extra money’s not going to get you to love caviar and champagne.
Want the things that bring you more stability in your life, that bring variety, connection, growth and contribution, and you will find success way before the fortune and fame. And most important you’ll live happy.
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All the best and remember to keep striving for the good side of success.
Mission to Success
The mission for success is to take our life to the level of awesome. We are actively learning the lessons that will bring us more success, that will improve the future for our children and will help make the world a better place.
If that’s something you want for your life, feel free to come join the mission for success by clicking here: Mission for Success!
All the best, and remember to keep striving for success.